Speechless
by heavenhelpmyheart
Summary: "I can't believe how you slurred at me with your half-wired broken jaw. You popped my heart sleeves, all my bubble dreams, bubble dreams." Finn/Kurt. Theatricality. Warnings: bad, homophobic, evil, mouth-poisoning words.


**A/N: Here we are. My Theatricality fic. I feel like there are a plethora of other stories like this one, but I have yet to read one, so I'm posting this anyway. I don't own Glee (but I totally remembered my disclaimer this time XD), and WARNINGS: bad, homophobic, evil, mouth-poisoning words.**

**For Beth:**  
><strong>Bold<strong> - Finn  
><em>Italics - <em>Puck  
><em><strong>Bold<strong> **Italics**_ - All the guys

* * *

><p>Stupid make-up. Stupid, dumb make-up that made the guys pick on him. Stupid, dumb, girly Lady GaGa that he had gotten out of doing, but Kurt was still playing all the time anyway.<p>

"Could you have a word with Azimio and Karofsky about harassing me without damaging my GaGa outfit?" Kurt's stupid, dumb, girly, snobby voice broke through his epic war with the white gunk covering his face.

"Are you serious?" he asked incred... incre... surprised/shocked, meeting eyes with Kurt in the mirror, also noticing with frustration that he had gotten barely any make-up off his upper lip and chin, never mind the rest of his face. "D-Do you know how difficult it is with those guys? They already think we're boyfriends." Finn wasn't gay, and living with Kurt wouldn't make him gay... would it?

"Let them think what they want," Kurt declared in that annoying way Rachel did sometimes, finally looking up from his stupid, dumb, girly, snobby, sparkly shoe. The costume looked almost normal without the freaky wig that looked like someone's grandmother had stuck scissors in an electric socket then tied up their hair. "They're Neanderthals." That was Kurt's constant comeback for whatever the guys did, but it didn't mean anything to anyone but him. "In three years they'll be cleaning my septic tank."

"Don't you get it? It's not just them." Kurt had to get it, right. He was always saying that the homo... homof... bullying wasn't just at school. "We live in Ohio, not New York, or San Francisco, or some other city where people eat vegetables that aren't fried." Kurt was always bitching about his diet and organic food and stuff. Finn turned around, trying to understand why Kurt couldn't be like everyone else. "I don't understand why you always have to make such a big... spectacle of yourself." At least he'd remembered the word, even if Kurt didn't look very happy. "Why can't you just work harder at blending in?"

"I'm sure that'd be easier for you." Fuck, maybe gay guys did PMS.

"You know, it would." Kurt has some sort of freaky crush on him, maybe he'll try to help him out. Finn turned back to the mirror, still fighting with the dumb paper towel and the make-up.

Finn was totally thinking 'conversation over' and loving the fact that he'd won an argument with Kurt (the little sigh Kurt let out confirmed it), when he spoke again. "You are such a _boy_." Kurt always said that like he wasn't one. "You're gonna have to use a moist towelette if you want to get that make-up off."

Kurt grabbed one of his... moist thingys off of his scary, girl desk and tried to hold it up to Finn's face. Finn _hated_ it when Kurt, or any creepy girl, did that. Tried to find excuses to touch Finn that seemed helpful. He couldn't understand why Kurt couldn't just back off. It was bad enough he had to share a room with him. "Don't touch me!" Finn snapped. Really, he'd meant to brush Kurt's hand away, but Kurt was way too close, and Finn ended up smacking his hand with a sound that revur... revir... bounced around in the suddenly shocked silence.

"What is your problem, Finn? It's just a moist towelette!" Kurt yelled, bullshitting him, shaking the dumb towel-thing. Since Kurt pretty much stalked him, shouldn't he know that Finn hated it when people yelled?

"I'm gonna finish in the laundry room." Bad enough that he had to sleep in the same room as Kurt without the soprano watching his every move.

"Grow up, Finn!" Kurt yelled at his back, and Finn winced. He hated it when people yelled. Finn heard the familiar slam of a chair hitting the ground, and, really, Kurt was even copying him now?

* * *

><p>"Finn, I have something to show you." Kurt sounded way over-excited when Finn got home. He didn't even bother to ask why Kurt was home, there was such a double standard (he thought that was what it was called) around what had been dubbed the 'Hudmel' household. Kurt did whatever he wanted and didn't get in trouble, and Finn kept every toe in line (or something like that).<p>

"Uh, what?" Azimio had made sure he was sacked over and over during football practice that day, and Finn really didn't feel like dealing with his gay stalker at the moment.

"I redecorated our room!" Finn barely had a moment to think 'ah, shit' before Kurt was eagerly leading him down the stairs. He did notice, and kind of felt bad that, Kurt was very careful as to not even brush his arm. The basement was completely black when they got down there. "I had to skip school to finish it, but I think you're really going to like it. Consider it a peace offering after all the yelling that we've been doing." Finn's eyes were literally burning at all the pink he saw as soon as Kurt flipped the lights on. This is what the inside of Rachel's mind must look like. "I used Marlene Dietrich and Gary Cooper in Morocco as my inspiration. It's a perfect blend of the masculine and the feminine, the muted and the theatrical." Finn didn't see anything masculine or muted about Kurt's crazy-pink sheet-covered gay castle.

"A-Are you freakin' insane?" Finn was very careful not to swear. He knew Kurt didn't like that. "I-I can't live here. I'm a dude! A-And what the hell is that supposed to be?" He pointed to the weird gold-brown-bronze... thing in between Kurt's bed and the make-shift couch-bed for Finn.

"It's a privacy partition." Oh my God, he had to be kidding. He expected Finn to change near Kurt protected only by that... hole-filled gold thing? No freakin' way. "It's the only one I could find on such short notice. Why are you getting angry about everything? I worked hard on this." 'Cause Kurt was totally the one who had a right to be angry, right? He was totally the one being forced to live with a gay stalker who had a really big crush on him.

"That's not a privacy partition!" What Finn meant was, it wasn't enough of one for him. "Why is this so hard for you to understand? I don't want to get dressed in front of you! You know that I-I put my underwear on in the shower before I come out when you're around? I just…I don't want to have to worry about that kind of stuff in my own room, man!" Finn hated _doing_ the yelling almost as much as he hated hearing it, but Kurt couldn't get this through his head! He wasn't gay, he wasn't interested, why couldn't Kurt leave him alone!

"And what stuff are you referring to?" Kurt had no right to be the angry one, and he didn't sound it, but Finn knew he was.

"You know. You know what I'm talking about, don't play dumb. Why can't you just accept that I'm not like you?" Finn had crushed on plenty of girls who had hated him (even... for two scary weeks, Lauren Zizes), and he had gotten over them. Why couldn't Kurt just _let go?_

"I have accepted that." It was so obvious that Kurt was lying that it almost hurt to watch.

"No, you haven't." Say what you wanted about Finn (and people did, sometimes to his face, sometimes behind his back), but he knew his friends well, and until now he had considered Kurt a friend! "You think I don't see the way you stare at me? How flirty you get? You think I don't know why you got so excited that we were going to be moving in together?" Kurt was looking away, and Finn knew he was right.

"It's just a room, Finn!" Kurt yelled, and Finn was... takena... takenu... a little caught of guard. Kurt never exploded, even when jocks made him really mad. "We can redecorate if you want to!" Finn got really mad then. Kurt had no right to be yelling at him, no right to be mad.

"Okay, good. Well, then the first thing that needs to go is that faggy lamp." Finn saw Kurt stiffen and knew this wouldn't end well, but he couldn't stop. Sometimes it just felt so good to let out everything he had been thinking. "And then we need to get rid of this faggy couch blanket..." Finn threw the dumb patterned thing away, before quickly being broken out of his... rant-fog by Burt's yell.

"Hey!" Burt yelled, and Finn kind of deserved that one. "What did you just call him?" Finn realized what he had said in that moment, and realized that Burt was gonna kill him.

"Oh, no, no, I didn't call him anything. I was talking to the blanket," he hurriedly defended himself. Shit, he had gone way overboard.

"If you use that word, you're talking about him," Burt said, his voice like the calm before a storm, pointing to Kurt.

"Relax, Dad. I didn't take it that way." Kurt looked scared, and Finn immediately felt guilty that _he_ had caused that. What he had been saying was right and justified, but scaring someone like Kurt made him... someone like Azimio.

"Yeah, that's because you're 16 and you still assume the best in people. You live a few years, you start seeing the hate in people's hearts. Even the best people. You use the N-word?" Burt stared directly into Finn's soul as he spoke.

"O-of course not," Finn stuttered out. What did that have to do with anything?

"Yeah, how about 'retard'? You call that nice girl in Cheerios with Kurt, you call her a retard?"

"Becky, no. She's my friend, she's got... Down syndrome. I'd never call her that. That's cruel." Becky was so sweet, just because she talked a little funny didn't mean Finn liked her any less.

"But you think it's okay to come in my house and say 'faggy'?" It wasn't the same! Burt didn't get that! Kurt was a fag, because he was gay! That's all it meant.

"T-That's not what I meant," Finn answered quickly.

"I know what you meant!" Burt's eyes looked almost tortured. "What, you think I didn't use that word when I was your age? You know, some kid gets clocked in practice, we'd tell him to stop being such a fag. Shake it off. We meant it exactly the way you meant it. That being gay is wrong. That it's some kind of punishable offense." Finn looked over at Kurt, who looked ready to cry. _Shit_. He didn't mean it like that. He just meant 'girly.' "I really thought you were different, Finn." He hated it when people said that. Finn always tried to be the best for everyone, he hated disappointing people. "You know, I thought that being in Glee Club and being raised by your mom meant that you were some, you know, new generation of dude who saw things differently. Who just kind of, you know, came into the world knowing what has taken me years of struggling to figure out. I guess I was wrong. I'm sorry Finn, but you can't - you can't stay here." What? Burt was... kicking him out? But he liked Kurt! Just not in the way Kurt liked him... He hadn't wanted to hurt the small boy.

"Dad..." Kurt said softly. Finn couldn't tell if it was a protest or just a warning that Burt had said enough.

"I love your mom," ew, ew, ew, ew, "and maybe this is gonna cost me her. But my family comes first. I can't have that kind of poison around." Poison. Finn was _poison_ to Burt, to _Kurt_. "This is our home, Kurt." Burt turned for a moment as Finn tried to think of something to say. An apology, or a protest, or both, squished together. "He is my son." Finn lowered his eyes, but he realized at that moment, Kurt and Burt actually were alike. They were both strong-willed and out-spoken, even if in entirely different ways. And they had the same eyes, the blue-green ones that made Finn wonder which they were. "Out in the world, you do what you want, not under my roof." Finn just walked out, knowing anything he said would make it worse.

"Place looks great," he heard Burt say as he reached the top of the stairs, and he waited for a second, hoping that the next thing he heard wouldn't be Kurt in tears.

* * *

><p>Luckily, it was around 4:30 by the time he had gotten to the Hudmel household, and, as disastrous as it had seemed, the thing with the Scary Room had only been about five minutes long. That left Finn with only twenty-five minutes to sit on the stoop of the Hummel house until his mom got home, which was an event he both hoped for and dreaded. He <em>hated<em> it when his mom was disappointed in him.

Finn stared out at the mostly brown grass that scattered the Hummel (it had stopped being 'Hudmel' the moment he got them kicked out of there) lawn, interspersed with mud. Left with nothing else to do, he thought about Kurt.

Being gay was kind of... weird, he had decided. Burt had been right when he said that calling Kurt... that word (or even his decorations) was really wrong, and like using... other bad words. But black people were that way by ancestry, because they needed it for the hot sun, or something. Down syndrome was a... chromosome thing, that happened just because, but scientists knew why. But why was Kurt gay? No one really knew, and that was confusing.

Kurt, too, was confusing. As a person. He didn't like football, but he had joined the football team. Why? To please his football-loving dad, because he cared more about Burt than he did everyone else combined. Kurt and Rachel seemed determined to tear each others' hair out, but they were really alike. They liked musicals, and someone named Salean Deyon. The only real difference was their wardrobes, but, even though Kurt would kill him for thinking it, they did have something in common. They both liked to stand out, and they usually both looked really cool in their own ways. Kurt was kind of Rachel... guy-version. Sort of. They certainly had the same taste in guys.

Which brings up another confusing thing about Kurt. He likes Finn. Finn knows that, he's not that much of an idiot. But Finn doesn't know why... After all, Finn threw pee balloons at him, and that was just nasty. Finn had egged his car, and watched him get thrown into dumpsters, and slushied him, and seen people slam him into lockers and not do anything. So, that's what he really didn't get. That, and why Kurt couldn't just _let go_ of him.

He kept hoping Kurt or Burt would come out, but that probably wasn't going to happen. They both hated him. He considered calling Rachel, or Mr. Schue, or someone smart, but they'd all be mad at him for saying bad things about Kurt. Especially Rachel, though she called Kurt confusing names that Finn didn't get all the time, but he knew they weren't as bad as the one he'd used. He knew _all_ the bad ones.

Finn didn't realize that he'd been staring at the dead grass lost in his muz... mus... thoughts for a long time until his mom poked his shoulder. "Finn? What are you doing out here?" As simple as the question was, Finn couldn't handle answering it. So, because it was his mom, and he knew she'd understand, he stood up and hugged her, burying his head into her shoulder. "Finn?" she asked again, more urgently now. "What's wrong?"

"I messed everything up, mom." Finn had said something like that to her when she found out about Quinn, but it hadn't actually been his fault then. Now, it was, and someone he could always count on to talk to hated him.

"It'll be alright, honey. Can we talk about this inside?" His mom didn't have the physical strength to move Finn, especially as dead weight, and he knew it.

"No. Burt kicked us out." Somehow, it seemed easier to just get it out there. He felt it when his mom stiffened and realized that he'd tripped over his tongue... again. "Well, he kicked me out. He said he didn't want to lose you." Not exactly his words, but it had done the trick.

"Finn. What happened?" This time his mom's voice was firmer, and that was the voice Finn had caved to since childhood. Finn spilled everything into his mom's shoulder, not daring to look up at her reaction. He talked about everything Kurt had done in the name of his crush up to his snapping point less than an hour ago. His mother didn't say anything until he reached the... bad word, and a sharp gasp escaped her.

His mom didn't talk until he was done, and was reduced well past simple tears. "Finn Hudson, I've never been this ashamed of you in my entire life." Despite her words, Carole didn't let her son go. "You said a horrible thing to a wonderful person. Kurt has the exact same rights that you do, which includes the right to be himself no matter what. I always encouraged you to be accepting of everyone, no matter what, and you have failed."

Somehow, the words 'you have failed' sounded worse coming from his mom than it did any of his teachers, because Coach Tonaka would always find a way to keep Finn on the team. Finn hated it when his mom was disappointed in him, but he knew he deserved it this time. He had never wanted to make Kurt _cry_, just to make him back off a little bit.

"He likes me." This clearly didn't clear up any confusing for Carole, who was still staring at Finn in confusion and disappointment. "He _likes_ me, likes me, or... _liked_ me, liked me." Finn wasn't sure which at this point.

"And?" His mom sounded remarkably unimpressed. "He has every right to have a crush on you Finn. You've had crushes on girls who weren't interested before, or even girls who were taken. Just because he's gay, doesn't mean he can't make starry eyes at someone and doodle 'Kurt Hudson' in the back of his notebooks."

"But, he like... stalks me. He probably watches me shower!" Finn exclaimed, the anger coming back at the fact his mom wasn't on his side.

"Has he ever touched you inappropriately?" Finn just stared at his mom, surprised she had asked that. "Finn, answer the question. Has Kurt ever touched you inappropriately?"

"No," Finn said meekly. "But he-"

"He what? Patted you on the shoulder? Hugged you? Things that are perfectly normal that you would be all right with if he wasn't gay," Carole cut her son's poor defense down. "Has Kurt ever given you bad advice to try and sabotage your happiness?"

"Well, yeah, but he didn't mean to. He told me I should tell Quinn's parents and all, and it was the right thing to do, but it totally.. sabot... sabu... messed up my happiness!" Finn exclaimed, feeling a little triumphant that he had blacked his mom's attack.

"It was a mistake, Finn. Everyone makes mistakes. Kurt did his best by you. Have you ever told Kurt that you aren't interested in him?" Carole asked, her voice much softer now.

"Well, I told him I'm not gay like a bunch of times." That totally counted, right?

"Have you ever asked Kurt to back off?" So... this was where she had been going with this.

"Well, no, but-"

"Finn, you had no right to blow up at Kurt if you didn't first ask him politely to back off. Kurt showed interest in you which you didn't feel back. That's happened to you before, correct, with girls?" Carole asked, and Finn nodded. Crap, he was getting no sympathy from his mom. "What did you do?"

"I told them to back off," Finn murmured.

"I'm sorry, honey, I didn't hear you." His mom had very clearly heard him. He hated it when adults played mind games like this with him.

"I told them to back off, all right! I should have done the same with Kurt, but he's my friend, and he's a dude, and it's weird!" Finn said, and his mom still didn't look very impressed.

"If Kurt were a girl, would you be interested in him?" Finn stared at his mother for a good two minutes in silence before he started spluttering.

"Wha-but-I-Kurt... what kind of question is that?" He decided on.

"One that you need to answer honestly. If Kurt were a girl, would you be interested in him?" Carole repeated, in that soft, patient, mom tone that wasn't condescending at all, the one Kurt would use when he was in a good mood.

"I don't know! Why does it matter? He's not!" Sure Kurt had pretty skin and amazing eyes and was super-nice and stuff, but he was a _dude_ (even if he hated it when Finn called him that). He didn't have boobs, and Finn was interested in the, uh, plumbing he did have.

"Finn, Kurt is one of the nicest people I've ever met in my life. He's kind, charming, and has quite the knock-out sense of humor, even if it can be rather scathing sometimes. He's also a very attractive young man, in his own way. If he were a girl, would you be interested in him? Yes or no, Finnegan?" Ignoring the fact that his mom thought Kurt was hot (gross), Finn thought through what she'd said. Yeah, he was awesome, but _he was a dude!_ If he wasn't a dude...

"I guess, yeah, maybe," Finn admitted quietly.

"I must be getting old, Finn, or you must be much quieter than you were, because I can't seem to hear a thing you say." Stupid, old-people mind games.

"Yes. I said 'yes'! If Kurt were a girl, he'd be like the perfect one. He's _not_, though, Mom!" Finn didn't like guys. He was cool about Kurt liking guys (sort of, in an abstract kind of way), as long as it wasn't _him_, but he didn't like guys.

"And you could never overlook that?" Finn shook his head vehem... veheam... passionately. "Even if you don't feel the same way, you should never look down on Kurt for what he feels naturally. I'm sure you've had plenty of crushes on girl's that didn't feel the same way, and you need to respect how Kurt feels about you. Whether you like it or not, there is a sort of chemistry about the two of you. That, Finnegan Christopher Hudson, is final." Finn gulped. There was nothing like that between him and Kurt. Mom was just blinded by how it was when she was little, right?

"Can we go home now?" he asked, and Carole sighed, looking up at the doors of the Hummel house before nodding.

"Let's go home, Finn."

* * *

><p>Home had been Finn's own personal version of hell that night. His mom wasn't that mad at him, after all, she loved him, but the tension in the air was thick, and the place felt empty without Kurt twirling around as he did the dishes and Burt watching football on the couch with Finn. His house didn't feel like a home anymore.<p>

School hadn't been so great either. Somehow, the rumor had spread that Kurt and Finn were sharing a room (or rather did, but the rest of the school didn't know that yet), and Finn had been mocked constantly about Kurt watching him change and touching him in his sleep. Considering how wrong what he had said was, he felt like punching the face off every guy who said something like that. Puck's not-quite-friendly jibes about him and Kurt being in love hadn't helped either. Somehow, the whole idea had seemed more of a joke before he'd actually gotten to know Kurt.

Glee hadn't started yet, and Finn sat in the back next to Brittany, who looked a little lost. Jesse was miraculously absent... again, and Finn wasn't missing him very much. Puck was gone too. He couldn't take his eyes off Kurt, who was sitting next to Matt engaging in friendly banter with Tina.

"You look like you should be in orbit," Kurt's tone was more thoughtful than joking.

"My balls keep falling off," Tina said worriedly, looking down at her costume. Finn had sort of been disappointed when he realized, no, it was not actually see-through, but it was still pretty cool-looking.

"I've been there," Kurt said mysteriously, and Finn couldn't help but glance at his crotch, wondering what the hell he could mean. Tina was giving him an equally confused look.

Apparently, staring at someone attracted their attention, because Kurt turned to look his way, his expression harsh and unforgiving. "I wanna talk about this," Finn said, leaning over as though he was too far away to have heard Kurt's entire conversation.

"There's not much to say," Kurt sounded near tears, even in the middle of Glee out of nowhere. "I feel sorry for you. I thought you were different." The words hit Finn like a blow. He had tried to be the leader, of Glee and of his team, and he'd never been able to make a difference, but he thought he at least treated Kurt decently. After all, Kurt had fallen for him because he was nice... he guessed.

"I _am _different." He was different, because he cared about Kurt, even though he had messed up.

"All right, let's get things started." Great timing, Mr. Schue. Really, fantastic.

"Mr. Schue, I have something I want to say to Quinn and I want everybody to hear it." What else could Puck possibly do to screw up Quinn's life? Even if Finn wouldn't... couldn't be the dad of that baby, Quinn had clearly said she didn't want Puck involved. Why couldn't he let go?

"All right." Finn kind of wished that Mr. Schue would actually control the club for once instead of kind of going along with whatever. No one wanted to hear what would be going on with Quinn and Puck.

"I-I, at first I didn't really get this theatrical assignment, being larger than life and putting it all out there, 'cause I'm kinda like that all the time." There has never been a truer statement. If Puck was anything, he was dramatic (not chick-dramatic. Dude-dramatic, there was a difference). "That's how my dad was too. He was too busy being all crazy and rock 'n' roll to be there for his kid. And, you know what? I didn't care that my dad was a badass." That wasn't as much of a shock to Finn as it was to everyone else in the room. He had heard Puck talk about his dad before only briefly, but he felt like crying like a girl when Puck did. "I just wanted him to be there, and he never was. And then I learned all this KISS stuff and while Jackie Daniels is a great name for, like, a power boat or something," what did that have to do with anything? God, why was Finn always confused? "it's not right for a baby girl. So if my KISS-mates will help me out, I got a better idea." The guys kind of looked at each other, nodding slowly, before getting up to help Puck out. "Grab a stool, guys," Puck ordered, and they followed his lead.

_Beth, I hear you callin',  
>but I can't come home right now<br>Me and the boys are playin',  
>and we just can't find the sound<em>

**_Just a few more hours  
>and I'll be right home to you<br>I think I hear them callin'  
>Oh, Beth, what can I do?<br>Beth, what can I do?_**

**You say you feel so empty,**  
><strong>that our house just ain't a home<strong>  
><strong>I'm always somewhere else,<strong>  
><strong>and you're always there alone<strong>

Finn met Kurt's eyes as he sang, trying to ignore how Kurt pointed looked anywhere but him. He could feel the gazes of the other people in the room, judging him, but he didn't care. All he wanted was Kurt's forgiveness, and he would do whatever he had to do to get it.

**_Just a few more hours  
>and I'll be right home to you<br>I think I hear them callin'  
>Oh, Beth, what can I do?<br>Beth, what can I do?_**

_Beth, I know you're lonely  
>and I hope you'll be all right<br>'cause me and the boys will be playing  
>all night<em>

_All night_

When Finn finally looked over at Quinn, she was crying, and Puck, their own badass, looked near tears as well, though he would never admit it. The room was quiet, everyone waiting to see what would happen next.

Getting up off his stool, Puck walked over to stand in front of Quinn. "I know you're giving her up, but, before you do, I think you should name her Beth." Quinn smiled, laughing slightly for no apparent reason. "If you'll let me, I'd really like to be there when she's born. I'd really like to meet her." Quinn just nodded, brushing her hair from her face.

This was the Puck no one ever saw, the one that had existed before his dad had bailed, back when he was just a happy little kid. Finn couldn't hate him for having Quinn, the girl he had loved, or the baby Finn had thought was his, because he wouldn't trade lives with Puck ever. It was hard to watch them be happy, in their own little way, and have no one beside him. He couldn't help but glance at Rachel for a moment, and his eyes then slid to Kurt of their own accord. He was watching the Puck and Quinn events with a mild curiosity and protectiveness in his eyes.

* * *

><p>"Kurt! Hey, Kurt, wait up!" The hallways were mostly deserted, as it was three o'clock and everyone tried to be out of McKinley as fast as possible. It wasn't like Kurt could pretend he couldn't hear Finn. He could just ignore him, though, and that seemed to be his plan. The countertenor strutted away from Finn as fast as possible without it being totally obvious he was trying to escape from him. "Kurt, come on!"<p>

"I have no interest in talking to you, Finn." Finn slowed slightly at his tone. That was the voice he used with Karofsky and Azimio, the voice that implied the person he was talking to was no more than dirt under one of his perfectly-shined shoes and they knew it. Finn had heard him use that voice before, of course, but never directed at him.

"Five minutes? That's all I want. Just five minutes." Kurt slowed and turned, but didn't approach Finn, leaving him to catch up.

"I don't know what you want from me. Isn't this what you wanted? I'm leaving you alone. If I answer you, does that count as harassment?" Kurt's voice, eyes, and demea... demen... whole manner was cold.

"Kurt, look, I'm really sorry." Silence. "I never should have said any of the things I did. I lost it, all right? So many people have been putting so much pressure on me, and I snapped."

"And this is my fault? Who is always around to listen to your problems? Who held you when you cried about Quinn, and again when you cried about Rachel? Who took care of you through it all, and cared about every dumb, insignificant problem you were having? Who never _once _expected anything in return? Me! I have done nothing but be kind to you, Finn, and you have done nothing but hurt me. Do you have any idea how painful it was for me to listen to you moon over Rachel's eyes and voice? Sitting there, day by day, listening to you and _dying_ on the inside, but not saying anything because I _cared_! Do those idiots, those Philistines, those Neanderthals care about you? Have any of them every done those things for you? No, but when they start to turn on you, you take it out on the one person who has been with you through everything." Every word Kurt said was a slap in the face, because they were all _true_.

"Kurt, I..." Kurt cut him off quickly, by turning on one heel and heading down the hallway, walking smoothly.

"Your five minutes is up." Finn knew it wasn't, but he wouldn't bother arguing. He didn't really have any defense against what Kurt had said to him anyway.

* * *

><p>The Glee club was all sitting quietly waiting for Mr. Schue's arrival, an odd occurrence itself. What was even weirder was that Kurt was not there. Jesse wasn't either, but Finn was beginning to think that even Rachel didn't care about that. Tina was mysteriously absent as well.<p>

"Who! Guys, why are you all in your theatricality costumes?" Mr. Schue walked in, sounding confused but enthusiastic as always.

"It's the end of the week," Artie was the one to speak up. "We were kind of hoping to learn what the lesson of the assignment was."

"Well, um, you guys have had some great numbers this week, but I'm not totally sure that I know either." Mr. Schue acted sheepish, and he had a point. As far as Glee went, it had been an awesome week. The rest of Finn's life... not so much. The club laughed shortly.

"I do," Tina announced, striding into the club in one of her normal Gothic outfits. "I refuse to dress like somebody I'm not to be like somebody I'm not, and I learned it's good to be a little theatrical."

The moral of the story she told following her statement was that Figgins was an gullible prick, but Finn couldn't help but wonder where Kurt was, and if it was a bad thing that he was missing. What is something had happened?

"There she is," Mr. Schue said with a proud smile, Tina took a bow, and the club clapped, drawing Finn back to the moment.

"She's back! She's back!" Artie called, grinning more fiercely than everyone else combined. "Wait, where's Kurt?"

As if he had planned it, Kurt walked in the doorway right then, having ditched the sparkly mess he was wearing earlier for a new outfit, which Finn was forced to assume was Lady-Gaga-inspired as well.

His shirt hung simply, solid black, only covering one shoulder with a t-shit-length sleeve. The wrist-length black gloves he was wearing had brass bumps at the knuckles and hearts designed into the back. The pants he wore were hardly pants at all. Blood red, they had smooth rips along most of the front, tapering down from the largest on his thigh to the smallest above his boots. He was wearing square-ish sunglasses bejeweled on one side that Finn had seen on the cover of one of Lady Gaga's albums. Down the side of his face was a black lightning bolt, peeking out from underneath the glasses on his left cheek. The shoes he had on were ankle-height boots with a high heel, laced tight.

"I have a number to perform," he said simply, ignoring the reactions to his outfit. All Finn was wondering was how he could see out those glasses.

"All right, Kurt, go ahead." Mr. Schue seemed kind of at a loss and sat at the piano bench, leaving Tina to take a seat in the front row.

"This song is for Finn," Kurt said icily, turning his gaze to the boy mentioned without taking off his sunglasses. "It's not the first song I've sung for him in here, though it's the first time I've been open about it, but it will be the last."

Kurt threw off his glasses, seeming unconcerned as they hit the wall with a clatter.

_How? How? How?  
>I can't believe what you said to me<br>Last night we were alone  
>You threw your arms up<br>Baby, you gave up, you gave up_

Kurt smirked as he called Finn 'baby.' He had taken his usual solo-singing spot at the front of the room, and someone (probably a member of the band) had lowered the lights, giving the room an almost sinister glow.

_I can't believe how you looked at me  
>With your James Dean glossy eyes<br>In your tight jeans with your long hair  
>And your cigarette-stained lies<em>

_Could we fix you if you broke?  
>And is your punch line just a joke?<em>

Kurt never looked away from Finn's eyes, but his gaze intensified on that last line. Finn guessed Kurt was referring to the mocking and the teasing, never harmless, always hurtful, that he had suffered from the other jocks.

_I'll never talk again, oh boy, you've left me speechless  
>You've left me speechless, so speechless<br>And I'll never love again, oh boy, you've left me speechless  
>You've left me speechless, so speechless<em>

Finn froze when Kurt sang 'love.' Kurt... hadn't been in love with him, had he? Kurt couldn't have been in love with him! He has.. standards and stuff, there's no way he could have fallen for someone who called him.. _that word_ and stood by as he was thrown in dumpsters. A vague memory of Miss Pillsbury telling students that being a bystander was the same as being a bully, remembered from the freshman year first-day bullying seminar. So much good that had done them.

_I can't believe how you slurred at me  
>With your half-wired broken jaw<br>You popped my heart seams  
>All my bubble dreams, bubble dreams<em>

Those were probably the truest lyrics (besides the broken jaw thing), and it suddenly occurred to Finn that he'd heard this song before. Somewhere in Kurt's endless play list of GaGa that had tortured him throughout the week, this song had hovered at the edge of his consciousness. Kurt mouthed 'fag' at the end of the verse, getting gasps from his audience members, but he didn't seem to care. Kurt's attention was focused fully on Finn, and it was one of the few times Kurt had made him feel one hundred percent uncomfortable.

_I can't believe how you looked at me  
>With your Johnnie Walker eyes<br>He's gonna get you and after he's through  
>There's gonna be no love left to rye<em>

_And I know that it's complicated  
>But I'm a loser in love, so baby<br>Raise a glass to mend all the broken hearts  
>Of all my wrecked-up friends<em>

Kurt finally looked away from Finn's eyes, locking gazes with other members of the club as he sang of his 'wrecked-up friends', mocking raising a glass Rachel in particular (one of the only faces he could see in his perif... periph... the corners of his eyes) looked appalled and shocked, but Kurt didn't stop singing.

_I'll never talk again, oh boy, you've left me speechless  
>You've left me speechless so speechless<br>And I'll never love again, oh friend, you've left me speechless  
>You've left me speechless, so speechless<em>

_How? How? How?  
>How? How? How?<em>

_And after all the drinks and bars that we've been to  
>Would you give it all up? Could I give it all up for you?<br>And after all the boys and the girls that we've been through  
>Would you give it all up? Could you give it all up if I promise, boy, to you?<em>

Kurt's voice was less harsh now, almost disparate, like a final plea to be loved. Finn looked away from Kurt for the first time, knowing that he could never promise his best friend the love he craved, and seeing the destruction in Kurt's eyes was almost too much. Finn never realized how much he had truly hurt the countertenor until Kurt allowed his emotions to spill out onto his face and through the song.

_Then I'll never talk again and I'll never love again  
>I'll never write a song, won't even sing along<br>I'll never love again, so speechless  
>You left me speechless, so speechless<em>

_Will you ever talk again?  
>Oh boy, why you so speechless?<br>You've left me speechless, so speechless  
>Some men may follow me<br>But you choose any girl, not me  
>Why you so speechless? Oh, oh<em>

Kurt ended in the same spot he'd began in, and the tambourine player (poor guy, he never had anything to do) brought the lights back up. Kurt's eyes were still fixed on Finn's head, even thought Finn was still looking away. There was silence from the surrounding students and silence from Kurt. Finn didn't meet his eyes. Almost five minutes passed of this same deadlock before Kurt gave up, storming out of the room without a word, boots clicking with every step.

"What was that?" the hushed whisper came from the newly-confident Tina, but Finn didn't feel like answering.

"Finn?" the question was from Rachel, who seemed hopelessly lost. "What's going on, Finn?" Finn didn't want to answer her, didn't _need_ to answer her. What was happening, once Finn figured it out, was _his_ business, and Kurt's too, but not Rachel's.

"I'll be back." The statement was addressed towards Mr. Schue, who seemed as shocked and concerned as his students did at Kurt's performance.

* * *

><p>Finn had been roaming the halls looking for Kurt for about a few minutes when he heard the soft slam of a body hitting a nearby wall. Thanking several gods that he hadn't been calling out for Kurt (knowing that would just help Kurt avoid him), Finn headed towards the voices he could barely hear.<p>

"Fine. You want to hit me? You want to beat me up? Go ahead." No, no, don't do that. Finn mentally encouraged Kurt to shut up as he searched for them. Kurt didn't sound resigned, though, which was what Finn had expected, but defiant. "I swear to you I will never change. I'm proud to be different. It's the best thing about me. So, go ahead. Hit me."

"I believe I will." _Azimio_. Of course, it has to be the two biggest assholes of them all. Finn was willing to bet money that Karofsky was there too, acting as his sidekick with a funny-shaped head. "Sir, would you like to go first?" Finn almost breathed a sigh of relief when he found them. Yep, Karofsky and Azimio. Of course.

"You're not hitting anyone," Finn said, playing the part of hero and trying to ignore the fact that he was dressed like Gene Stanley. "I wanna thank you, Kurt. I realize I still have a lot to learn, about life and stuff, but the reason I'm here right now is because of you, and I'm not going to let anyone lay a hand on you."

"Oh. Really, dude?" Shut up, Karofsky, before your face matches your head... in that it's funny looking, that is. Oops, too late. "'Cause I'm pretty sure we can take both of you." Finn was probably sure of that too, but that wouldn't stop him from trying.

"Yeah, but can you take _all_ of us?" The voice from behind him (his new savior) was Puck. Kurt looked twice as surprised to see them as Finn was sure he did.

"Okay. Okay, I get it. I took Biology. You know what, Karofsky? We done disturbed the freak hive. The worker freaks is tryin' to protect the Queen Freak." Finn wasn't sure if they were talking about him, or Kurt, or both.

"Next time, we'll bring some friends too." The two stalked out, trying to act as though the sight of Puck hadn't scared them to the level that they were about to wet their pants. Kurt's face was carefully blank.

"I'm tired of everyone calling us freaks," Rachel said, Tina sighed, and Finn agreed with both of them.

"Well, look at us. We _are_ freaks!" Mercedes offered, and the team broke into laughter.

"But we're all freaks together, and we shouldn't have to hide it," Finn said this to Kurt, who had walked up to stand by his side, face still blank.

The slow clapping that seemed to come from nowhere made everyone snap back to reality. Thankfully, it was just Mr. Schue. "Nice job, Finn. Think you just figured out what the lesson was. Kinda makes me wish I'd planned it. But Mercedes is right. You do all look incredibly insane."

"Thank you," a few members chorused, everyone smiling or laughing (Puck was smirking, but what was new?).

"You're so welcome," Mr. Schue said with a laugh. "Anyways, let's get back to work, before you're all forced to join the circus. Next stop, Regionals!" The club cheered as they followed Mr. Schue, leaving Kurt and Finn alone in the hallway.

"Thank you," was Kurt's first comment. "Despite my fierce words, I didn't actually want them to beat me up." A hint of a smile flickered over his face before it vanished. Kurt couldn't even meet his eyes. "I suppose you think this is atonement for the week?"

"Dude, not even close!" Kurt looked up at Finn now, obviously shocked. "I.. I screwed up Kurt. I screwed up with you, I screwed up with Quinn, I screwed up with Rachel, hell, I even screwed up with Santana. I didn't even think that was possible! I just... you're one of the coolest guys I know, and you were totally right with what you said to those boneheads. One of the things on the list of things that make you cool is the fact that you're gay and proud of it."

"Finn, you don't have to apologize. We both overstepped out boundaries," Kurt said softly, almost placing a hand on Finn's shoulder than thinking better of it.

"You're afraid of me," Finn said point-blank, and Kurt hesitated. "You think I'm gonna hurt you, or lash out at you again, but I'm not going to. I kind of realized that the way you feel about me is the way I feel about Rachel. The only difference is the obstacle stopping us. I have to deal with Jesse, and you're..." Finn couldn't think of a nice way to phrase it.

"A gay guy crushing on a straight guy who has shown no flexible tendencies?" Kurt supplied, seeming genuinely amused. "I know. I'm not mad at you anymore, Finn. I pushed you to your limit, and, even if I wasn't what made you snap, per se, I contributed enough that I understand why you lashed out at me. I'm not happy with you, especially not for calling me a 'fag,'" Finn flinched at the word, "but I made my fair share of mistakes and more. You did everything you could to make it up to me, and I lashed out at you. I'm sorry."

"Dude, you shouldn't be sorry. You don't really have anything to be sorry for." Kurt had totally been the good guy.

"First of all, stop calling me 'dude,' it's irritating and uncouth, and I won't stand for it. Second, what about that song, the one that was intended to humiliate you in front of all your true friends and tear your conscience to shreds?" Kurt asked quietly, picking at a non-existent thread on his shirt.

"All that did was make me fear what song Rachel would sing to me if I ever got her mad." Kurt smiled, but guilt still shown through on his features. "Were you, uh... were you really in love with me?" 'Are you really in love with me?' would have been the better question, but they say not to ask questions unless you were sure you could handle the answer.

"I don't know. Maybe. I mostly just said that to make you feel bad," Kurt's eyes closed, a sign that he was fighting back tears.

"Come here, dude." Finn pulled Kurt into a hug, obviously surprised the countertenor, who froze before hugging back tentatively. Kurt just... fit in his arms, in a way Rachel and Quinn never did. It was nice. Plus, he was tall enough that he actually passed his shoulders, rather than stopping at his breastbone. "We cool?"

"We're cool." Finn released Kurt, who started heading down the hall towards Glee. "For the record, I would try to learn new adjectives besides 'cool' and 'awesome'. They get quite irksome after a while."

"Maybe you should learn to relax a little," Finn said, bumping his friend's shoulder, which resulted in a glare. Clearly, bumping Kurt was a no-no.

"Some of us have to be cultured," Kurt responded, and they kept up their light and friendly banter as they made their way towards their (undoubtedly curious and full of obnoxious questions) family.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: The rubber dress. I didn't think it was that funny, or that plot-line-important. It also refused to be wrote in realistically. Sorry.**

**Kurt's Lady GaGa outfit that I invented:  
>Shirt + Gloves: <strong>http:/ 3. bp . blogspot .com /_vx4hqTWdgg0 /S69DPK- N1WI /AAAAAAAACEI/ MOtEDlqsdq8/ s1600/ lady-gaga-3. jpg

**Pants:** http:/ 1. bp . blogspot. com /_ZcotuDo7xvA/ TIaBrtgu98I/ AAAAAAAAAjg/ cYidJOpqEdE/s1600/ lady-gaga-pants %5B1% 5D. jpg

**Glasses: **http:/ www. justeyewear. com /blog/ wp-content/ uploads/ 2010/05 /lady-gaga- crystal- glasses. jpg  
><strong><br>Shoes:** http:/ images4. fanpop. com /image /photos/ 16300000/LADY- GAGA-SHOES- lady-gaga- 16392509-435- 580. jpg

**Songs used:**_  
>'Beth'<em> by Kiss_/_Glee Cast_  
>'Speechless' <em>by Lady GaGa (I changed some of the lyrics)

**Reviews are Love.**


End file.
